Ever been a victim of an insult and had nothing to say back? With these hilarious comebacks you will have the best roasts to any insult thrown your way.
1. You’ll never be the man your mother is.
2. I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.
3. I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
4. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
5. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
6. Some day you’ll go far—and I really hope you stay there.
7. You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
8. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
9. Hey, you have something on your chin… no, the 3rd one down.
10. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse.
11. Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.
12. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
13. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?
14. Brains aren’t everything. In your case they’re nothing.
15. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot.
16. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
17. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
18. I thought of you today. It reminded me to take the garbage out.
19. I’m sorry I didn’t get that – I don’t speak idiot.
20. I’ve been called worse by better.
21. I may love to shop but I’m not buying your bull.
22. Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor.
23. Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
24. Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go.
25. Your family tree must be a cactus ‘cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.
26. You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
27. Gay? I’m straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
28. Earth is full. Go home
29. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
30. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you’ve already got one.
31. I just stepped in something that was smarter than you… and smelled better too.
32. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
33. The zoo called. They’re wondering how you got out of your cage?
34. You’re so fake that Barbie is jealous.
35. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
36. People like you are the reason I’m on medication.
37. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
38. Save your breath – you’ll need it to blow up your date.
39. If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.
40. I can’t help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your dad had just pulled out.
41. I’m sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.
42. Can you die of constipation? I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are.
43. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
44. If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
45. Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
46. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
47. If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.
48. No need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
49. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
50. Awesome ends with me and Ugly starts with you.